Vicious Cycle

Vicious Cycle

            If the time ever comes that the relationship is on the rocks, maybe you can learn from others.  I’ve worked with many people in this position, and in almost every case the end result is determined by whether my client has the ability to just walk away for a while.  It may sound like a small thing, but many just don’t seem to have the strength to do so.

            It can start out really simple.  The wife or girl friend gets a two week protection order.  During the two weeks, you just have to talk to her, text her, e-mail her, have a friend or family member get in touch with her.  If you could only talk, everything would be just fine.  And in fact, you might talk to her and believe that you are on the path to working through your problems.

            Let’s do a reality check.  The two quick calls where you left a message and told her how much you cared, the four text messages where you said the same thing, the long love letter e-mail, and the call you asked your mother to make can and often are separate criminal offenses.  Each offense, in this case eight, is punishable by up to a year in jail and a $5,000 fine. 

            Don’t think it will happen, well it can and it does.  To make matters worse, after a couple of convictions for violations of protection orders, any future violation can be charged as a felony.  What started as an innocent attempt to work out your relationship problems can turn into years in jail or prison.  While you sit in a cell, you lose your home, children, job, and your ability to find decent employment once you get out.

            This is not a rare occurrence.  It happens all the time, and most of the people involved are still saying how they didn’t want to hurt her, they only wanted to make up, right up until they are transported to prison.

            Even if she says, “don’t worry about the protection order – I’ll get it dismissed”. “ I need to see you.”  “The kids need you.”  “I’m so sorry,  I didn’t mean it.”  IT DOESN’T MATTER!  If you are reported in violation of the protection order, you will go to jail.

            Take my advice, regardless of your emotional state, give it a rest.  If there is any hope of making things right, a little time apart won’t make any difference.  Get in to see an attorney right away, and follow that attorney’s advice.  Regardless of how innocent it seems, if you don’t protect yourself very bad things will happen.