Spending time with your children during the holidays

Spending time with your children during the holidays         

               The Thanksgiving thru New Year holidays may seem a ways off, but now is the time to work out any disputes over where your children will spend the school break and/or holidays.  Waiting to the last minute can often mean that nothing can be done to enforce your Parenting Plan rights this year.  It usually takes at least 3 weeks or more to get into court, if you must get a court order to resolve a dispute.  Many Parenting Plans include a dispute resolution section that requires mediation or other vehicle for dealing with differences in opinion regarding the language in your order.

               Often times a Parenting Plan is signed by a court when the children are quite young.  As they get older, it may be more difficult to enforce provisions for visitation that better applied to little kids.  Sometimes the parents move on with their lives.  New spouses, children from a new relationship, or someone has moved out of the area.  Each of these problems can be resolved, but someone needs to take the initiative to get the Parenting Plan updated.

               More often than not, the parents can work thru their issues and agree on changes to the Parenting Plan.  In this situation, it important to do more than agree.  A new Parenting Plan needs to be drafted and entered with the court.  If you just leave the changes an informal agreement, it can be very difficult to enforce the agreement at a later date.

               When the parents cannot agree on changes to the Parenting Plan, it may be necessary to ask a court to make the changes.  This does not have to be a major battle, but either way, a court will consider your issues and render an order. 

               A properly drafted Parenting Plan can be tailored to the specific needs of your family.  There really isn’t a “one size fits all” approach that is likely to address your needs and issues.  Taking the time to talk to a family law attorney can help you understand what your realistic options are, and how to best achieve them at a reasonable cost.

College and the Parent's Responsibility

College and the Parent's Responsibility

College and the Parent’s Responsibility

It is getting to be that time of year when some of us are looking forward to children graduating this next June.  For many, this can mean concerns about the payment for college, trade school, and other post-secondary education.  Will the other parent pay a share, how much, etc.  These are all important questions, and the time is right to get answers.

Most Orders of Child Support include language that limits when a parent can ask a court to make a decision on post-secondary support.  Usually, you must bring this petition before the child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever occurs last.  From a practical standpoint this does not give you a lot of time.  Sure, you can wait until next May to take action, but the case will not likely be resolved before school starts next September.  What a court wants to see is that the child has been accepted at the school he or she plans to attend, before the court will enter a post-secondary support order.  Admission letter generally go out from October to January, so the window is now open to take a look at what needs to be done to ensure appropriate payment for your child’s education expenses.

I have seen too many cases where promises are made, but when it comes time to make good on the promises nothing happens.   I have seen too many cases where the correct advance planning did not take place.  I have seen too many cases were the parent simply waits too long to take action. 

A consultation with an experienced family law attorney can get you going in the right direction with plenty of time to get it right.  Even if the parents have reached an agreement, putting it into a valid order of the court will “cement” the agreement and make it clear what is expected of the parents and child.  If legal action is required, talking to an attorney will help you understand what needs to be done in advance to better ensure a reasonable result.

Planning Parenting When You're Not Married

Planning Parenting When You’re Not Married

               It happens all the time.  It could be a long term relationship or it could be a very brief relationship, but what happens when a child is born?  Many people try to “deal” with the situation through self-help.  I’ve seen many cases, and addressing issues through promises and informal agreements seldom work for long.

               The law provides for back child support to be assessed for up to 5 years.  This can place a parent in a situation where all the groceries, rent, bills paid, clothes, toys, etc. are characterized by the court at a later date as gifts and not child support.  I have seen parents saddled with over $30,000 in back child support, and required to pay future support.  I have seen parents “work out” a parenting arrangement that seems to suit their needs when the child is young, but falls apart as the child gets older.  A common issue that I see is one parent simply refusing to allow visits by the other parent.  This can be anger over that parent having a new person in their lives, the desire to coerce a parent into obeying his or her rules and demands, or for no real reason at all.

               The appropriate and safe thing to do is to get court orders that protect all parties right away.  This will give both parents legally enforceable rights, and make clear each parent’s responsibilities.  This process does not have to be a battle, it can be a cooperative and constructive process that can really help the parents build the kind of trust necessary to co-parent.  The orders that come out of this process can be drafted to reflect the evolving needs of the child, and help reduce conflict later in the child’s life.  It is the responsible thing to do, and it is the right thing to do for the child.

               Especially in cases where the parents have grown apart or never really had a close relationship, the appropriate court orders can set a framework for future parenting decision making.  In so many cases, the parents eventually move on to build new relationships and new families.  When parenting issues are first addressed at that time, the demands of these new relationship can get in the way of coming up with a plan that is focused primarily on the best interests of the child.

               If you are expecting a child or if you have a child where the support and/or visitation is unresolved, a consultation with a family law attorney can really help you understand the complexities of crafting a workable solution.  Rarely will the problem just “go away”.  It is up to you as the parent to ensure that right things are done to protect your child

Changing the Amount of Time You Spend With Your Children

Changing the Amount of Time You Spend With Your Children

               This is commonly the time of year where many parents reconsider where their children live the majority of the time, or reconsider how much time the children live with each parent.  This may be because one parent has the children with them more of the time during the summer, or because the school year is just around the corner, but regardless of the reason, this is a hot topic right about now.

               If the parents are in agreement on any changes to their Parenting Plan, making these changes can be pretty simple.  It is important to formally make these changes in a new Parenting Plan.  Just informally adopting changes can lead to conflict later, and entering a new Parenting Plan will ensure that both parents’ rights are protected.  I have seen informal changes to visitation schedules go very wrong over time.  When these agreements break down, the court can be left with no real idea of who is telling the truth about the informal agreement.

               If one parent is looking to modify the Parenting Plan, legal guidance is essential.  The law in Washington is very detailed about when a change is possible and under what circumstances these changes are appropriate.  In many cases, some prior planning can significantly improve your chances of successfully modifying the Parenting Plan.  If an emergency exists and the safety of a child is at stake, there are things that can be done to get immediate relief from the court. 

Regardless of your situation, meeting with an experienced family law attorney will help you better understand your options.  Putting off addressing your concerns will not generally improve your position, and can make obtaining the relief you want more difficult. 

Planning Your Separation or Divorce

Planning Your Separation/Divorce

               It may sound callous, but if you are considering a divorce or separation you need to be thinking about what you need to do when it happens.  In many cases, you have no advance notice, but when you are taking the initiative or you know it’s coming, there are some things that can make the process much easier to survive.

               Money:  A divorce or separation costs money, and you cannot count on getting it from your accounts or spouse once the process begins.  My experience is that all the accounts and lines of credit disappear when the other spouse suspects a divorce or separation is on the way.  It just makes sense to put what money you can in a separate account if it is available.  You should keep good records of where the money came from and what you used it for, but it’s far better to provide an accounting later than not have the money when you need it.  If you need to use charge cards, do the same thing.  Use the cards when the credit is available.  It is common to see charge cards put on hold or cancelled during the first stages of a divorce or separation.  Having enough money to pay your bills, support your family, and pay your attorney will make the whole process much less stressful. 

               It is possible to ask the court to order your spouse to pay child support, temporary spousal maintenance, and pay your debts.  Unfortunately, there is often not enough income to cover all your basic needs.  Further, courts in the early stages of this kind of litigation rarely award attorney fees, or if the court does make an award it is rarely enough to cover your actual fees and costs.  Even when everything goes great, it can take a month or more to get the money flowing.  You need to plan for your own support for at least a couple of months.

               Documents:  It can make the whole process go much quicker and cheaper if you can obtain copies of important documents before the split.  Your last several years tax returns and W-2’s, bank statements for all accounts, 401K and other investment reports, business records, etc. can all be useful.  Getting copies now can save the cost of obtaining them during the litigation, and will give your attorney the information he or she needs to do the work necessary to represent you in a timely and appropriate manner. 

               If you are gathering information, try to keep it somewhere that you can retrieve it after the split.  Maybe a friend or family member can hold the documents for you.

               Next time, we will talk about parenting issues and what you can do to protect your position.

Recent Change to DUI Law

Recent Change to DUI Law

Starting this Thursday at midnight, if you are arrested for a DUI, your vehicle will be impounded with a mandatory 12 hour hold.  Generally, defendants who are arrested for a DUI are released from custody rather than taken to jail.  If this happens to you, you will not be able to reclaim your vehicle right away.

Up until now the vehicle was released to another person to avoid towing and impoundment charges.  This will not happen now.  Even if the vehicle is owned by someone else, it will be towed.

Under the new law, the impounded car will be held for 12 hours. There are three exceptions in the law: If the car is owned by someone other than the person arrested, such as a business owner, the owner can reclaim the car at the impound lot; a registered co-owner can claim the car; and commercial and farm vehicles can be reclaimed by the legal owner as long as it is not the person arrested.

The thinking behind this new law is that a person under the influence could leave the police station and return to their vehicle.  This might put an unsafe person back on the road.  This happened in Whatcom County back in 2007, and a person was seriously hurt in an accident.  That person sued the county and the State Patrol, and subsequently won $5.5 million in a lawsuit.  The jury found the state patrol negligent because the woman took a cab back to her car after being arrested for drunken driving.  She was involved in the injury accident after she was returned to her car.

The result of this new law will, in theory, make the road safer from drunk drivers.  In all those cases where the driver was innocent of the charge, they will incur the cost of towing and impoundment regardless of their condition.  Further, they will be unable to retrieve their vehicle until the 12 hour hold is up.

A Timely Reminder

A Timely Reminder

                I’m sure that I sound like a broken record, but there are a couple of things we all need to keep in mind when dealing with the police.  As often as I’ve talked about this in the past, I still see several people every week that did not get the message.

                If you are detained by the police, you should always be courteous in your behavior.  Officers of the law are like everyone else, they respond better to people that are respectful and pleasant.  I have seen clients that spend a day or two in jail just because they were rude and obnoxious when confronted by the police.  It costs nothing to be nice, and you will always be better off for having made the effort.

                This may sound like a contradiction, but you need only be as cooperative as the law requires.  You have constitutionally protected rights, and you should use them.  You do nothing wrong when you ask to speak to an attorney before you make any statements to the officer.  (It is appropriate to provide you name, address, identification, vehicle registration, and proof of insurance).  If asked questions about your condition, what you have been doing, how much you have had to drink, etc. you may politely ask to speak to an attorney before you answer.  Do not take any “tests” or volunteer any information before you speak to an attorney.

                It may seem that the officer is just “making conversation” with you, but, believe me, everything you say and do will be used against you if you are charged with a crime.  Much of what you may be asked to do is directly calculated to gather evidence against you.  I have seen my share of police reports, and too often the officer used your statements and performance in these tests to establish his or her probable cause for your arrest.  Further, it is often the case that this information is used at trial to establish your guilt.  You need not incriminate yourself, and you should be careful that you aren’t “tricked” into helping make the case against you.

                I have heard many people charged with a crime tell the same story.  “The officer said that if I cooperated, I would able to go home and that everything would be alright.”  Then, when the subpoena came in the mail, and they see the police report, they find that all the “cooperation” has been used against them.

                Most of us were taught to respect police officers, and to tell the truth.  I’m not suggesting any disrespect, only that you not do yourself harm when you have the legal right to remain silent.  I’m not suggesting that you lie, only that you wait until you have spoken with legal counsel before you discuss the situation with the officer.  Knowing your rights is a great way to keep from being your own worst enemy.