Planning Your Separation or Divorce

Planning Your Separation/Divorce

               It may sound callous, but if you are considering a divorce or separation you need to be thinking about what you need to do when it happens.  In many cases, you have no advance notice, but when you are taking the initiative or you know it’s coming, there are some things that can make the process much easier to survive.

               Money:  A divorce or separation costs money, and you cannot count on getting it from your accounts or spouse once the process begins.  My experience is that all the accounts and lines of credit disappear when the other spouse suspects a divorce or separation is on the way.  It just makes sense to put what money you can in a separate account if it is available.  You should keep good records of where the money came from and what you used it for, but it’s far better to provide an accounting later than not have the money when you need it.  If you need to use charge cards, do the same thing.  Use the cards when the credit is available.  It is common to see charge cards put on hold or cancelled during the first stages of a divorce or separation.  Having enough money to pay your bills, support your family, and pay your attorney will make the whole process much less stressful. 

               It is possible to ask the court to order your spouse to pay child support, temporary spousal maintenance, and pay your debts.  Unfortunately, there is often not enough income to cover all your basic needs.  Further, courts in the early stages of this kind of litigation rarely award attorney fees, or if the court does make an award it is rarely enough to cover your actual fees and costs.  Even when everything goes great, it can take a month or more to get the money flowing.  You need to plan for your own support for at least a couple of months.

               Documents:  It can make the whole process go much quicker and cheaper if you can obtain copies of important documents before the split.  Your last several years tax returns and W-2’s, bank statements for all accounts, 401K and other investment reports, business records, etc. can all be useful.  Getting copies now can save the cost of obtaining them during the litigation, and will give your attorney the information he or she needs to do the work necessary to represent you in a timely and appropriate manner. 

               If you are gathering information, try to keep it somewhere that you can retrieve it after the split.  Maybe a friend or family member can hold the documents for you.

               Next time, we will talk about parenting issues and what you can do to protect your position.