After the Holidays

After the Holidays

            If you had a less than positive experience this past holiday season with visitation, now is an excellent time to consider getting the problems fixed.  The process can take time, and now is an excellent time to start looking toward spring break, summer break, and the 2012 holidays.  Generally speaking, the process is not that difficult and the courts are very skilled at crafting a parenting plan that will avoid future conflicts and ensure both parents have appropriate time with the children.

            Once a new order is put in place, it will often act to reduce the level of conflict.  Each parent then has legally enforceable rights, and any disagreement can be resolved – usually without having to go back to court.  With the sure knowledge that visitations will happen as scheduled in the parenting plan, stress will be greatly reduced – not only for the parents, but also for the children.

            If there are immediate issues that need to be addressed, this process can be adapted to get results in a fairly quick time frame.  Once a petition for modification of the parenting plan is filed and served, the court will be open to entering a temporary order to fill the gap until the final parenting plan is entered with the court.

            If you are considering this process, it usually costs nothing to see a family law attorney and discuss your individual case.  At a minimum, you will leave that appointment with a lot more information than you started with.  Putting off getting your parenting plan “right” can make future legal action more difficult, and can deprive you the time you deserve with your kids.

A Story About A Separation

               It doesn’t happen often, but from time to time I meet with people who have been separated from their spouse for months or even years.  There are a lot of reasons why this happens, but often it is just easier to ignore the other person, and just go about your life without him or her.

               What many people don’t know is that just because you may not have even talked to your spouse in all that time, that doesn’t mean that the law will treat that time apart as any different than if you had been living together.  A trial court will look at the subjective opinions of the parties when determining when the “cut off” date for the marriage should be set.  Because this is a subjective test, if it benefits one party to include all that time they were informally separated into the marriage, it may very well happen that way.

               I represented a party to a divorce many years ago.  The parties had been separated for over ten years, and hadn’t even talked in all that time.  One party lived in Washington, and the other party moved to the mid-west.  During that period of separation things went well for one party – his business grew, he purchased property, and he had money in the bank.  Things did not go so well for the other party – she had trouble holding down a job, and she ended up with no real assets.

               When the case came to trial, the wife testified that despite having had no contact with her husband in those many years, she had always believed that they would get back together again and that the marriage would be better than ever.  The court decided, based on that subjective “belief”, that all those years of separation were to be included into the marriage.  The wife got a large share of everything that was earned by the husband during their separation.

               Even relatively short separation periods can be a problem for some people.  The actions of one party may very well create a financial burden for both parties.  A simple way to draw that line in the sand is to file for a dissolution or legal separation.  That date of filing will be used by the court to determine the actual separation date, and greatly limit claims by either party for assets or responsibility for debts incurred after that date.  Ignoring the issue is seldom a good way to achieve a positive final result.  Informal separations are not in your best interest, and can cause significant financial issues that might have been otherwise avoided.

Planning for the Unthinkable

Planning for the Unthinkable

               Many people simply don’t want to think about unpleasant topics like what will happen when you die, or what will happen if you get so sick or injured that you are unable to make your own decisions.  Can’t really blame people for side stepping these issues, but the responsible thing to do is get it over with and do the right thing.

               Even if you don’t have much now, that doesn’t mean that when you pass away there won’t be important assets and debts that need to be addressed.  If you don’t take the time now to plan ahead, you will get what the Washington State Legislature determined should happen in cases where there is no will or an invalid will.  This result can be very different from what you would want to have happen, and there is really nothing anyone can do about it after the fact.  There can also be serious tax issues that if not appropriately addressed, can really bite into your estate.   Creating a well crafted will can ensure that your wishes are carried out with a minimum of heartburn for your family.

               If you are so ill or injured that you can’t make your own health care and financial decisions, you can plan ahead and appoint and direct the person or persons you want to make these decisions for you.  If you don’t plan ahead, you tend to get the first person that goes to all the trouble and expense of asking a court to grant them these powers.  Not only may this not be the person you want to make those important decisions, but it will cost a lot more money than if you had taken some simple steps now.

               Estate planning is really pretty simple and not nearly as expensive as you might think.  Now is the time to set up an appointment and get the guidance on how to best achieve your goals.  In all the years that I’ve been helping people with estate planning issues, I’ve never had anyone not feel much better about themselves after it’s completed. 

The Holiday Season and the Law

The Holiday Season and the Law

                It’s that time of the year again – holiday parties, evenings with friends and family, and celebrations that can get you in trouble.  The Washington State Patrol alone makes 20,000 DUI arrests each year, and it’s all over the news that most law enforcement agencies have stepped up DUI patrols this month.  Now is a good time to give some thought to what you should do if you are caught up in one of those stops.

                I’ve said it many times before, but it’s worth repeating – don’t volunteer to take any field sobriety tests if you are stopped by an officer.  These are purely voluntary tests, and you will not benefit from taking them.  Also, be polite and cooperative with the officer, but do not answer any questions that relate to where you have been or how much you have had to drink.  Providing your driver’s license, proof of insurance and registration are just fine, but don’t get into a conversation with the officer, just keep any discussion to the bare minimum.  If you take the voluntary field sobriety tests and/or discuss how much you have had to drink with the officer, it will be used against you in court.  I don’t care how nice the officer seems, or that the officer “just wants your cooperation so her or she can get you on your way”, what the officer is really doing is collecting evidence to be used against you.

                If you are taken into custody, the officer will generally read you your constitutional rights while you sit in the back seat of the patrol car.  Listen to your rights, and immediately ask to speak with an attorney.  When you get to the police station, keep in mind that you need to talk to an attorney before you sign anything or answer any questions about your physical condition.  They have defense attorneys on call that you can speak with any time day or night.  Talk to the attorney, and follow his or her advice.

                You will almost certainly want to take the breath alcohol test at the police station.  Refusing to take the test will subject you to higher penalties, and will make your defense all that much more difficult.  If you follow the attorney’s advice, you should get through the ordeal without too much trauma.

                The next day you need to call an attorney and set up a consultation.  There are very tight time constraints that can mean a significant suspension of your license if you don’t get help right away.  Depending on the jurisdiction, it could be months before you are formally charged with the DUI, but that doesn’t mean that you can just ignore the situation.  The Washington State Department of Licensing will suspend your license, and unless you take immediate action there isn’t much that can be done to prevent the suspension.

                Please have a great holiday season!  I hope that everyone stays on the right side of the law, but if something happens please remember my advice.  A DUI can have very negative long term effects on your life, school, and work.  The costs that come with a DUI can be immense and long term.  Know how to defend yourself from self incrimination, and how to give your attorney the best chance possible to obtain a positive final outcome.

Spending time with your children during the holidays

Spending time with your children during the holidays         

               The Thanksgiving thru New Year holidays may seem a ways off, but now is the time to work out any disputes over where your children will spend the school break and/or holidays.  Waiting to the last minute can often mean that nothing can be done to enforce your Parenting Plan rights this year.  It usually takes at least 3 weeks or more to get into court, if you must get a court order to resolve a dispute.  Many Parenting Plans include a dispute resolution section that requires mediation or other vehicle for dealing with differences in opinion regarding the language in your order.

               Often times a Parenting Plan is signed by a court when the children are quite young.  As they get older, it may be more difficult to enforce provisions for visitation that better applied to little kids.  Sometimes the parents move on with their lives.  New spouses, children from a new relationship, or someone has moved out of the area.  Each of these problems can be resolved, but someone needs to take the initiative to get the Parenting Plan updated.

               More often than not, the parents can work thru their issues and agree on changes to the Parenting Plan.  In this situation, it important to do more than agree.  A new Parenting Plan needs to be drafted and entered with the court.  If you just leave the changes an informal agreement, it can be very difficult to enforce the agreement at a later date.

               When the parents cannot agree on changes to the Parenting Plan, it may be necessary to ask a court to make the changes.  This does not have to be a major battle, but either way, a court will consider your issues and render an order. 

               A properly drafted Parenting Plan can be tailored to the specific needs of your family.  There really isn’t a “one size fits all” approach that is likely to address your needs and issues.  Taking the time to talk to a family law attorney can help you understand what your realistic options are, and how to best achieve them at a reasonable cost.

College and the Parent's Responsibility

College and the Parent's Responsibility

College and the Parent’s Responsibility

It is getting to be that time of year when some of us are looking forward to children graduating this next June.  For many, this can mean concerns about the payment for college, trade school, and other post-secondary education.  Will the other parent pay a share, how much, etc.  These are all important questions, and the time is right to get answers.

Most Orders of Child Support include language that limits when a parent can ask a court to make a decision on post-secondary support.  Usually, you must bring this petition before the child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever occurs last.  From a practical standpoint this does not give you a lot of time.  Sure, you can wait until next May to take action, but the case will not likely be resolved before school starts next September.  What a court wants to see is that the child has been accepted at the school he or she plans to attend, before the court will enter a post-secondary support order.  Admission letter generally go out from October to January, so the window is now open to take a look at what needs to be done to ensure appropriate payment for your child’s education expenses.

I have seen too many cases where promises are made, but when it comes time to make good on the promises nothing happens.   I have seen too many cases where the correct advance planning did not take place.  I have seen too many cases were the parent simply waits too long to take action. 

A consultation with an experienced family law attorney can get you going in the right direction with plenty of time to get it right.  Even if the parents have reached an agreement, putting it into a valid order of the court will “cement” the agreement and make it clear what is expected of the parents and child.  If legal action is required, talking to an attorney will help you understand what needs to be done in advance to better ensure a reasonable result.

Planning Parenting When You're Not Married

Planning Parenting When You’re Not Married

               It happens all the time.  It could be a long term relationship or it could be a very brief relationship, but what happens when a child is born?  Many people try to “deal” with the situation through self-help.  I’ve seen many cases, and addressing issues through promises and informal agreements seldom work for long.

               The law provides for back child support to be assessed for up to 5 years.  This can place a parent in a situation where all the groceries, rent, bills paid, clothes, toys, etc. are characterized by the court at a later date as gifts and not child support.  I have seen parents saddled with over $30,000 in back child support, and required to pay future support.  I have seen parents “work out” a parenting arrangement that seems to suit their needs when the child is young, but falls apart as the child gets older.  A common issue that I see is one parent simply refusing to allow visits by the other parent.  This can be anger over that parent having a new person in their lives, the desire to coerce a parent into obeying his or her rules and demands, or for no real reason at all.

               The appropriate and safe thing to do is to get court orders that protect all parties right away.  This will give both parents legally enforceable rights, and make clear each parent’s responsibilities.  This process does not have to be a battle, it can be a cooperative and constructive process that can really help the parents build the kind of trust necessary to co-parent.  The orders that come out of this process can be drafted to reflect the evolving needs of the child, and help reduce conflict later in the child’s life.  It is the responsible thing to do, and it is the right thing to do for the child.

               Especially in cases where the parents have grown apart or never really had a close relationship, the appropriate court orders can set a framework for future parenting decision making.  In so many cases, the parents eventually move on to build new relationships and new families.  When parenting issues are first addressed at that time, the demands of these new relationship can get in the way of coming up with a plan that is focused primarily on the best interests of the child.

               If you are expecting a child or if you have a child where the support and/or visitation is unresolved, a consultation with a family law attorney can really help you understand the complexities of crafting a workable solution.  Rarely will the problem just “go away”.  It is up to you as the parent to ensure that right things are done to protect your child